The False Premise: Operating From Our False Beliefs

Believing in yourself is paramount!

What I mean by this is that Everything we believe about ourselves is what we will experience of ourselves. If we sit around thinking (and more importantly feeling) unworthy, unlikeable, ugly, fat, stupid (fill in the blank), then that is what we will come to know of ourselves. We have merely convinced ourselves that we are those things based on patterns of thought and looking to outside influences to tell us how to feel about ourselves. I am not going to sit here and tell you media, movies, magazines, are all evil and the cause of all our own self-loathing. I am going to tell you that they influence our thinking an if we already feel bad about ourselves we can use those outlets as confirmation that we are in fact, lacking.


The key here is to re-examine all those beliefs you have formed about yourself over the years and really honestly ask yourself “are they true?” If you answer “yes”, I want you to then ask “how can I really know they are true?” My point here is learning to look with new eyes at old thoughts that most likely come from a wounded, sad part of yourself. I used to think I was very incapable of many things. I was terrified to even try new things as I was sure I would fail and be humiliated. New jobs, reaching past my comfort zone would send me into a panic attack. I would freak myself out so bad about the new adventure so much that I would usually end up quitting the job sometimes even before I started.

As I really began my journey of deeper self-discovery, I started really looking at the beliefs I had formed about myself and questioning there legitimacy. Where did that belief come from, and was it really true about who I really was? Could I change that belief and in turn no longer be held back by it? This is a process of listening, opening, and practicing hearing all the things you tell yourself about yourself and deciding what you want to keep believing and what you’re willing to let go of and change. A belief is only a thought you keep thinking and have thought upon long enough that it appears to be true. What I am asking you to do is to look inside and search for the True you. How do you know you have found the True you? The True you feels beautiful, feels light and open. The True you feels powerful and empowered.¬†Thoughts that tell you you are weak, pathetic, less than everybody else are not the True you.

Suffering happens when we are taught to believe that what is happening to us is wrong and a mistake and we should have prevented it. We learn to think of life as a reward and punishment: If I am “good”, good things happen to me and I get what I want. If I am “bad”, bad things happen to me and I don’t get what I want.

In a nutshell, we have learned to believe that self-hate, that relentless onslaught of judgement, criticism, and blame, is what prevents us from being cruel, selfish, and indulgent and that without being constantly watched and controlled we will be hateful and harmful. It is a lie!

The only way we are ever going to stop abuse in all its forms is by ceasing to believe that punishing people makes them “good”. Your love will always be conditional as long as you are excluding any part of yourself from it.